My Coach Decided Not to Help Me?

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October 14, 2021

My Coach Decided Not to Help Me?

superhero holding woman in his arms

Want someone to help build your coaching business?

Someone to create a website for you?

Someone to create a sales funnel for you?

Someone to create a marketing copy for you?

Me too…

But at times I’ve found my desire for ‘help’ goes too far…

…to the point of wanting someone to come and save me.

superhero holding woman in his arms

And I get stuck in the trap of feeling overwhelmed and confused.

My typical coaching session would include telling my coach,

“I don’t know what to do…”

And complaining about how overwhelming my life was.

Finally, my coach said…


She told me that being stuck in overwhelm and confusion were indulgent emotions.

“I’m not INDULGING… I really do have a lot on my plate!”

I argued.

“…I have a coaching business to run.

…I have 2 kids.

…and a dog, a guinea pig, and an aquarium of fish.”

But my coach wasn’t buying any of it.

As my coach and I worked together, I began to understand that none of these circumstances were to blame for me feeling overwhelmed and confused.

I was doing it to myself.

The truth was, that even when I blocked time to work on my coaching business…

…I wasn’t really showing up for myself.

And I was good at hiding it.

Even though I looked like a powerful coach and a leader to others…

Deep inside I was a scared little girl.

I shoved that little girl into the closet…

…and told her to be quiet.

OK, let’s get back to my coaching session…

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As my coach pinned down my ‘little girl’ pattern, I helplessly protested…

“Why am I struggling in my own coaching business when I’ve helped so many other coaches make money!?”

And in that same breath, I realized it was because I showed up for those clients.

  • I believed in them more than they believed in themselves.
  • I accepted them unconditionally.
  • I held their hands when things got tough.

I ‘saved them’.

But I wasn’t ‘saving myself’.

When I realized how unfair I was being to myself…

I decided to stand up for myself and take responsibility for my own results.

Since that tough, but priceless coaching session…

Rather than hiding and ignoring that scared little girl, I decided to help her.

I took time to do the inner game work I knew I needed…

Suddenly, I stopped showing up like a frightened child.

I stopped looking for others to save me.

I decided to count on myself.

And the paradox of all this is…

You’d think that letting that little girl ‘out’ would make me weaker.

But it made me strong.

By letting her out, I was able to nurture the little girl who had been left behind…

…and acknowledge and accept ALL of the facets of myself.



…and especially, fear.

Now, instead of hustling to get things done, I have fun working on my coaching business alongside my inner child.

I can relax and enjoy the process, while my inner child is curious and creative…

… and I get to create joy in my work.

…Even when it’s scary.

Young confident businesswoman wearing red cape against modern city background

Now, instead of waiting for someone to save me, the voice inside me says…

”It’s time. We can do this.”

By leading myself (and that little girl), I step into the shoes of the leader I was meant to be.

As Elizabeth Taylor said…

“Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.”

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