How Coaches Get Past Bad Days

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How Coaches Get Past Bad Days

Tied up

Ever had a ‘Bad Hare Day’?

Robert Deyber is an artist who created a series of paintings depicting a rabbit with a very bad attitude.

At first glance I didn’t think much of these paintings…

…until I realized that we all have ‘Bad Hare Days’.

Dark days when the ‘Bad Hare’ in you wants to…

…tie up Whistler’s Mother…

Tied up

…deface the Mona Lisa…

Defaced

…or break a Ming vase.

Bad day

On one of my own Bad Hare Days…

…I called Jeffrey Sooey in tears.

I was ready to throw in the towel in my own coaching business

And the Dean of Master Coach University shared this…

“15 years ago I had a coach named Robert Alderman.”

“Robert was making over a million per year from coaching…

…and was voted the #1 coach in America.”

“This is what he told me…

…on one of MY Bad Days…

…when I wanted to quit…”

“’You don’t build your coaching business on the days you want to build your coaching business

You build your coaching business on the days you don’t.’”

And I realized that Jeff (and Robert) was right.

You can’t let the Bad Hare Days stop you

…or become an excuse for not doing what you need to do.

It’s easy to build your coaching business on the good days

Aaaaaaahhhh… the GOOD DAYS : )

Those days when you actually feel like working on your business.

Everybody builds their coaching businesses on those good days.

That doesn’t make you special…

…or successful.

What sets you apart?

What generates real success in a leadership driven profession like coaching?

Building your business on the bad days.

Uuuuuggghhhh… the BAD DAYS : (

Those days when you DON’T feel like working on your business.

Most coaches don’t work on those days.

That’s what holds them back from achieving their dream coaching business.

Successful coaches do the hard work…

…even when they don’t feel like it.”

Successful coaches do the hard work…

…even when they don’t feel like it.

Which is why they stand out from the crowd.

The BAD DAYS are what makes them special.

The BAD DAYS are what makes them successful.

Not the good days.

Coaches like…

  • Les Brown
  • Byron Katie
  • Martha Beck

They make it look easy.

But that’s only because they do what no one else does

They work through the Bad Hare Days…

…when everyone else stays in bed

…when everyone else blows off their diet and exercise program…

…when everyone else wallows in unworthiness.

…and takes it out on their spouse or kids.

It’s these dark days that stop coaches from achieving their goals.

Falling victim to your bad days is not very inspiring.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

How you FEEL in the darkest moments is the same for EVERYONE

BAD.

But what you DO is UP TO YOU.

What you DO can change.

What you DO is what sets you apart, not how you FEEL (at least in those moments).

And when you grow through your challenges…

…you’ll be more compassionate with your clients…

…and have tools to coach them even more effectively.

Here’s how you do it…

The Bad Hare Day Cure

STEP ONE: FEEL BAD

The first thing to do when you feel like crap… is to feel.

Find a space by yourself and a box of tissues and let it all out.

But don’t just scream at the wall… write it all down on paper.

Write everything down without editing.

I prefer loose leaf paper so I can shred the evidence when I’m done.

(This can take 20-30 minutes.)

STEP TWO: PRESS ‘PAUSE’

When you are done writing, take a one-minute break:

  • drink some cold water
  • take a few deep breaths, or…
  • splash some water on your face.

The purpose of this?

  • It tells your mind and emotions that you’re moving on… past any drama you might have experienced in step 1.
  • It’ll bring you into the present moment, a place of conscious awareness to prepare you for the next steps.

STEP THREE: FIND FACTS

Read your notes from Step #1.

Circle all the facts.

A ‘fact’ is something that would hold up in a court of law. Something everyone agrees with.

STEP FOUR: GET REAL

Notice how few facts you circled.

If you didn’t circle it… it’s just a thought or feeling.

Most Bad Hare Days stem from treating your thoughts as if they ARE reality.

Reality doesn’t easily change.

Your thoughts, thankfully, can change in a heartbeat.

STEP FIVE: SELF CARE

Stop judging yourself and be compassionate.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings as you demonstrate compassion toward yourself.

STEP SIX: DON’T SKIP STEP FIVE

STEP SEVEN: BODY SWAP

Change your physiology:

  • Go for a walk or jog.
  • Put on your favorite song and dance.
  • Go outside and do your favorite yoga pose.

STEP EIGHT: DECIDE

Decide what you want to feel… and the thoughts and beliefs that will support it.

STEP NINE: WRITE AND RECITE

Write down those thoughts and feelings and recite them daily for 30 days.

The nuggets from Step #9 are like gold.

Whether you use this technique on yourself…

…or your coaching clients…

…you will not only uncover some of the thoughts that are holding you back

…but also create more empowering beliefs.

You can use them whenever you like…

  • before you coach…
  • before you write an article…
  • before you start any project that feels hard to do.

It’s a choice that everyone makes…

To be someone who goes through pain…

…gets stuck in the pain…

…and never gets past it.

OR

To be someone who goes through pain…

…and rises above it.

Which will you choose?

If you rise above the pain…

…you make the uncommon choice.

You become a shining example of what’s possible.

You become the hero.

Every Hero’s journey is about rising above pain

And, as a hero…

…you can change your life, and the lives of those around you.

And it all starts when you master your mind.

Colette “Bad Days Can Happen” Coiner

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